Friday, 16 October 2009
As a Medium my calling in life is to bring through Spirit which has passed to the other side and to give comfort to those who have lost loved ones on this earth plain. When my mum died in January 2008 I fully expected her to come through to me shortly afterwards. However, the days, weeks and months went by and…..nothing! I began tormenting myself with such thoughts as ‘a Medium who I can’t even bring her own mother through’! The boot was suddenly on the other foot and I began to realise why people, who have lost loved ones, need the services and comfort given by a Medium.
During her lifetime my mother and I would often say that whichever of us passed over first would manifest herself to the other and, on the assumption it was likely to be my mother passing first, the experience would help me in my mediumship by proving survival after death of the physical body. The lack of contact was therefore even more frustrating.
It was a beautiful sunny day on Thursday 26th June 2008 and exactly 5 months 3 weeks and 2 days since my mum had passed to the world of Spirit. On that day I was feeling particularly low, missing her dreadfully. I felt as if I had been hit by a huge wave. Bereavement turns our world upside down; the pain never really goes away and we just have to learn to live with it. She would often say “you should spend more time with me because you’ll miss me when I’m gone”. Howe true those words were.
I was walking my dog Zimba, a Rhodesian Ridgeback, through a friend’s woodland; it is such a beautiful place with a breathtaking bluebell wood and the River Blackwater passing through it on its way to Southampton Water. It is such a peaceful place and no-one else in sight. I feel so much closer to Spirit when I am there. Zimba was splashing about in the river as I stood in the shallows by the bank and suddenly my thoughts of my mother turned to anger at her lack of response to my continual prayers for her to make contact with me. My anger turned to uncontrollable tears and I just wanted her to appear and console me. In desperation, I looked up to the heavens and screamed as loud as I could, “why don’t you come and see your daughter? Why have you abandoned me? You promised you would come back and see me. Don’t you love me anymore, out of sight out of mind, I suppose”? If anybody had seen my outburst they would have thought I’d gone mad. Thankfully, dogs can’t talk but even Zimba looked at me rather strangely!
I walked back to the car and went home and whilst nothing happened that day I did feel a lot better by just getting my feelings off my chest. I forgot all about moment and didn’t even mention it to my partner, Barry.
Over the previous few weeks we’d been hearing some very strange noises in the house at night. Our house is about 200 years old and whilst you expect to hear a few creaks these noises were more like thuds and bangs as if someone was trying to break in. Interestingly, the noises always occurred at the same time, 3.15am. That night we went to bed quite early; I was feeling quite emotionally drained and Barry had had a busy day. At precisely 3.15am I was suddenly woken by the voice of my mum saying “OHHHH”. Prior to her death she had suffered a severe stroke and “OHHHH” was one of the very few words that she could utter. Barry was fast asleep but the noise came directly from him, from the pit of his stomach. He made the noise again but this time much louder and, as he did so, my mother overshadowed him. It was clearly her voice but coming through Barry. I sat bolt upright and my heart was pounding, and yet Barry was totally oblivious to it all!
As I looked to the left of Barry, my mum was standing by his side fully materialised and alongside her was my cousin Peter, who had died some years earlier. Mum looked radiant and at peace with a serene smile on her face. She just stood there in a wonderful glow looking at me; no words were exchanged but the room filled with an amazing sense of peace. Even being a Medium and used to seeing Spirit I found the experience quite frightening and yet amazing at the same time!
I nudged Barry, which is something I shouldn’t have done but I did instinctively. I wanted him to enjoy the experience but, of course, as soon as I woke him mum and Peter disappeared. However, my mind was suddenly filled with the words, “ask and you shall receive”.
I just wanted the experience to go on and on but my hasty actions curtailed the manifestation. I then questioned my fear and it made me feel somewhat stupid. After all, it was my mother for goodness sake. However, it was worth the wait and she came to me when I was in most need. In my heart I knew she hadn’t forgotten me and she just need time to adjust to her new surroundings. I now know that she will come back on other occasions, again when I need her and when she can help me.
It’s funny, but after that night we never heard the strange noises again. I believe Spirit was building up the energies to make her manifestation possible. They knew in advance and were ready for when I was most in need.
The next day I was jubilant, on cloud nine and couldn’t wait to tell all my friends of my mum’s visit. I was left feeling extremely privileged at my experience. Many people never see or witness such materialisation and I felt truly honoured. I could now talk with such conviction and passion about my own experience and share it with others.
Such experiences are truly wonderful and whilst they don’t make the pain of missing loved ones disappear they do help and, as a Medium, I hope that I can use my experience to help others.
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
"When you work only for yourself, or for your own personal gain, your mind will seldom rise above the limitations of an undeveloped personal life. But when you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break your bonds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."
Patanjali, founder of Yoga sutras, 2nd century b.c.
Patanjali, founder of Yoga sutras, 2nd century b.c.